How one widow and her daughter help one another cope

Written by Jeffrey Voigt, CNN

A Saturday night at a bar turns into an agonizing search through the net of Facebook friends and strangers of friends in a search for truth.

The truth is that I got an “unfollow” notification on my Facebook after my friend Kaye posted this on Monday:

Our dad was a loving husband, father, brother, uncle, brother-in-law, best friend and friend to many. He was also a jazz musician that loved to play and he was also a scientist and an adventurer, who taught his kids about nature and he was just so full of life. He spent the last few days of his life flying to Santa Cruz and hiking with friends to try to explore nature’s beauty. We will miss you dad, we love you and we will carry you with us always.


That’s a message that’s familiar to many families at this moment: dads and moms and big brothers who died from natural causes. But it’s also the brutal truth.

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing: The “why?” being the other family?

What was he thinking when he posted it? Why would he put the whole family in this situation?

Please let him know how deeply this hurt all of us.

I couldn’t think of a better way to get a message out to his other 15+ Facebook friends than to take a step back and engage the group with a difficult problem. We had a very open Facebook page where people could help her, offer to go out with her and talk her through this.

She’ll take advice on how to end her life, we just don’t want her to take it.

There’s not really anything I can say that is particularly helpful, except that our dad was a great dad and that we love you very much.

And who knows, maybe he’s all the way up there on a beach right now thinking about that.

This is very much an introspective post so please come at me with your thoughtful replies, and you will be appreciated.

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